Everyone loved "Mean Girls"

I read an article in Allure Magazine the other day about Eva Mendes (I learned later that the magazine was from last August so that put a dent in my plan to write an angry letter to the magazine but that's sort of besides the point). I would first like to say that I'm one of those people who almost never actually read the articles about the celebrities in those magazines, I really just don't care very much how you ended up having a perfect body and amazing lifestyle. That being said, I was flipping through the magazine when I came across the article and something quite literally stood out on the page.  Magazines always put big block quotes amid their articles to draw you in and usually I just read their little highlights before moving on but this made me read the whole article (whilst fuming to myself).  In big pink letters, right next to a photo of Eva Mendes with her cheer team (or poms or whatever you call it) from high school, it read, "You know those girls who say they don't have many girlfriends? I always say 'run for the hills when you hear that.'" I was appalled. So I read the entire article hoping that it may have just been taken out of context or some sort of misunderstanding but no, Eva Mendes killed any respect I had for her.  If you were a popular girl in high school then you have no right to make comments like that. Unless you've been in that position then just keep your mouth shut. You don't know what you're talking about.  It's assumptions like that that make life for girls who have trouble making or keeping friends even harder.


I unfortunately have to admit that I love watching "The Real World", it's my dirty little habit. This season, they are back in Las Vegas. So to catch you up, one of the characters has already been kicked off (after 6 episodes), but what can you expect from someone who spent a bunch of time in Juvey (Juvie?). So they bring in a new girl (instead of a guy) and just that throws off life for the other three girls (oh no, competition for attention), but one of the first things she does is make a joke about breaking up the house couple because she thinks the guy is hot, which immediately makes all the girls hate her, whoops. Not only that but she happens to get alone better with the guys because she's super into sports, so the other girls just assume that she's all up in their territory or whatever and they get so ridiculously defensive that they basically just assault this poor girl while she's sleeping (after they already got in her face at a bar earlier in the night).  If I had been the girl, heads would have been rolling but this girl basically just sits there and takes it with a comical look on her face. I wish I could be as gracious as that.  As for the other cunts in the house, they are the reason that women get a bad name.  LAME.

You remember when "Mean Girls" first came out and you were like "OMG, that is so totally true, girls are so bad to each other, Tina Fey is brilliant for finally saying it out loud!"

So what, because it was just comically poignant it didn't stick? It's like that retarded "Save the Planet" commercial where there's a running faucet and no one actually bothers to turn it off they just stand around commenting about how terrible it is.
 
I'm not actually sure how this problem can be solved with women, but we can't just keep watching and commenting. And yes, I realize how hypocritical that sounds seeing as I am also just commenting, but I really hope that some day girls can stand together rather than apart.  If the suffragettes could stand against the injustice of the law then we should be able to find a way to stand up for ourselves and stop the emotional (and irrational) terrorism between each other

Once upon a time...

We were all in middle school (or junior high if you're weird) and it sucked.

For everyone.

Even the kids that were (or would be in high school) the "cool" kids had it rough. Maybe not as rough as some but it was still an awkward time in their lives too. At least the principal didn't call me out in front of the entire school, like the "popular" girl I was in the same class as.  They were changing the dress code to try to prevent us from becoming sexually aware prematurely (yet somehow despite all of the desperate attempts of our elders to keep us in the dark, now kids are having sex by nine years old), so our principal made an announcement at lunch.  He did so by very nicely asking said classmate to stand up and do a little twirl for everyone, then he asked if we all got a good look, then said, "What Blahblah is wearing is entirely inappropriate for school and she and any other girl wearing anything that I deem inappropriate from here on out will be given a referral -- (our school's version of detention) --  then sent to the office and provided new clothes from the lost and found, or she will be sent home." Poor girl.  She just got humiliated in front of the entire school just for wearing a spaghetti strap tank top. Lame, Mr. Principal, very lame.

I think that kids should all just get a giant Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card that lasts for the three miserable years we have to go through during middle school. Or we should all have our memories wiped on the first day of our freshman year of high school.  Either way, none of us deserve the torment of middle school (well maybe the shitheads that turn into the assholes of high school deserve it a little, but only if they would've turned out that way anyway).

It's one giant shit storm.

All the bad crap happens at once, growth spurts, squeaky voices, giant noses, boobs (or lack there of), random boners, acne, first periods, feelings toward the opposite sex (or same sex, whichever floats your boat) that seem so dire you lose all other focus on anything, and of course the relentless need to fit in sets in (did that exist before middle school? I really can't remember) and with it a constant feeling of insecurity.

Yea, that sounds like real fun to me...

I think that it may be very possible that God or whatever otherworldly force you believe in) just has a really sick sense of humor.