I am both inspired and appalled by the stories I've been reading and hearing about lately about kids that are killing themselves after emotional bullying leaves them with no reason left to live. This strikes all kinds of nerves in me, and they very contradictory, which makes me uncomfortable.
I had already heard about the death of the young gay boy who killed himself after near constant torment by bullies as well as a few other young people who were driven to do the same by bullies when I happened upon an article in Cosmopolitan Magazine that featured a young girl who was "bullied to death". My first thought was "Wow, how is it that kids keep getting meaner?" But after I read the article, I stunned myself after thinking, "Nope, sounds the same to me." I immediately felt guilty for thinking what I was thinking but I also felt angry. I was angered by people's intolerance and general ignorance (those are two things that make me the most furious in this world) but I was also angry because I hate suicide. I hate it, a life is simply not worth just throwing away. I don't care who calls you a slut or a retard or whatever other slur you want, killing yourself is NEVER the answer. Only cowards take the easy way out. This sounds awful and completely unsympathetic which why I felt so incredibly guilty but when you've been able to see first-hand (and multiple times) the damage that is caused by suicide, it is only too easy to come to the conclusion that it truly is never worth it. Never. I'm sorry, the end.
You're probably thinking, woah, what a heartless bitch, what the hell does she know, blah blah blah. Let me tell you. When I was in high school I knew four different families who lost people to suicide. One of the people that died was my friend, another was a friend's mother. Killing yourself can ruin other people's lives completely. It is horrible that someone can feel so badly and so alone that they want to end it but I can't imagine any situation in which a person is truly alone. There is always someone who needs you. Maybe you don't believe that but before you take drastic action try and remember that you can have a future. Being tormented now doesn't mean you will be later. You have the choice to let the pain your feeling make you strong instead of weak. If you truly feel you don't have someone to turn to, I implore you to find an outlet. Write, draw, paint, learn to kick box, take up running, pray, whatever, just find something, anything, that you can put your energy into and throw all your pain into that. It will get better someday. I know because I was bullied from the first friends I made all the way until I graduated college and it still haunts but I believe that I am better for it. I can know now that they're the ones who are weak and they can't hurt me unless I let them. Please find something to believe in, your life is worth so much more than giving up.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
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